When someone you know loses a loved one, all you want to do is help in some way. Depending on how close you are to the person who is grieving, you may want to attend the service. Even if you don’t, you might want to send a gift of some kind to the Lancaster, NC funeral home that is hosting the service. You could send flowers and/or a card, but you know they’ll get a lot of flowers. You could send money, but is that insensitive? Will it really help them feel better?
The fact of the matter is that nothing you send, say, or do is really going to make the person in your life feel better about having lost someone. What you are doing is sending something to support them and remind them that you are there for them and thinking of them. People who are grieving appreciate those thoughts and kind acts. Flowers are lovely and can decorate a service. But, it’s true, that a lot of services are overrun with flowers and the grieving family doesn’t really know what to do with them all after the service is over. If you want to avoid adding to that, money is a perfectly acceptable gift.
Consider how much you would spend on them for a wedding gift or another such occasion and send that amount. You could be doing something very nice for them without even knowing it. Perhaps they aren’t sure how they are going to afford the funeral services they wanted for their loved one. By addressing the check to them, they can spend the money in any way they see fit. They may very well use it to cover some of the expenses they are incurring surrounding the final services. If they have that covered, they can donate the money where they see fit, like to cancer research if their loved one died from cancer, or another favorite charity they supported.
It’s not the money that is going to make them feel better, it’s the gesture of support they will appreciate. In sending something, you are supporting them through the grieving period and reminding them that you care. They will likely send you a thank you card later, but you should extend yourself to them through a phone call in the weeks following to see if you can help in other ways, or just take them out for coffee to lend a listening ear.
If you aren’t sure what to send, or want to talk about other options, contact the professionals at Heritage Funeral and Cremation Services. We’re a Lancaster, NC funeral home that is here to help families through final services, but we’re also here to help those who are supporting the ones who are grieving. Call us at (704) 846-3771 for advice or visit with our funeral director at 3700 Forest Lawn Dr Matthews, NC 28104. We want to help you in any way we can.